Faith is a difficult thing for me. Faith in the unseen in the face of the unknown comes very slowly for me. I get frustrated when what I've prayed and hoped for hesitates in coming. I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel. I want to but I can't give up just yet.
As I write these words today I realize that I so understand Peter's rhetorical question to Jesus when he said (in John 6:68), "Where else can we go?" When others ran away and the situation seemed confusing as Jesus spoke of things they couldn't yet grasp, Peter realized that staying was easier than going and that believing was easier than doubting.
There are days, there are moments when I really want to give up but what else is there for me to do? Do I give up on the possible in the face of what I believe to be the improbable? Do I turn the energy and effort I draw on to walk in faith into energy that cultivates negativity and doubt? Do I work to feed belief or do I work to nurture unbelief?
Oh yeah, you may not realize it but it takes work to be skeptical. It's exhausting to always see things as hopeless and to live defeated and dejected. It saps away energy that could be used for more positive ventures to let our minds walk in the dark back alleys of fear and worry. It's without a doubt overwhelming to see only roadblocks, to dream only nightmares, and to live our lives under the misconception that life isn't really even worth living.
Yep, it's hard work being hopeful but it's even harder being miserable - I know because I've tried! Faith requires work but so does doubt and worry. And it's in the middle of the dynamic tension caused when belief collides with unbelief that I've found myself asking God a question. "What else is there for me to do?"
I think I'll just believe.
P.S. It occurs to me that a thirsty man doesn't care to argue whether the glass is half empty or half full. He's just happy to have a drink.